Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I just finished my intro paragraph for my research paper on L'alimentation japonaise.

And it's not due until the end of march. Yeah that's right, my procrastination days are over.

:)

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas! Joyeux Noël!

:)

Friday, December 24, 2010

T'was Christmas Eve

It strangely doesn't feel like Christmas Eve at all. No big family dinner, nothing.
We're probably going to watch a Christmas movie later, most likely Jingle All The Way. Haha. I love Sinbad in that movie!!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I can't sleep. (I don't wan't to sleep.) My mind is wandering to far away places. I wish they were good places where only positivity resides and the end result? Happiness.

For the past couple of months, I convinced myself that people come and go. In the end, all I have is myself. But fuck that loneliness crap. Feeling lonely is by far, the worst feeling ever. I felt it. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone - not even someone unpleasant and despiteful. No human being deserves it. Loneliness eats your heart away and slowly disintegrates your mind, body and soul. It makes you feel inhuman. You suddenly feel out of touch with the world and with yourself.

With the New Year in the horizon, I hope for acquaintances with good people, relationships/friendships with these acquaintances, love, peace (within myself) and all the good things life has to offer.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The TTC can be a real bitch sometimes.
The fucking 54 Lawrence Ave E bus took for-fucking-ever to come. AND WHEN IT DID, the bus was full. WHAT THE SHIT RIGHT?!
I waited half an hour or even more to get on that bus. Fucking people who came after me got on first. YOU KNOW WHY? I was carrying my dad's ginormous gift. He better be thankful for it when he opens it for Christmas 'cause I went through hell just to buy it.

Out of all days I decide to go out this week...
FUCK YOU TTC.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Life is great

Days without classes are amazing. Instead, my day consists of: shovelling snow if need be, listening to my collection of Ray LaMontagne albums on repeat, catching up on Modern Family, watching the Steven and Chris show, making my bed (finding the time to make it), wearing my hair up in a bun, and staying warm inside.

:)

Monday, December 13, 2010

I woke up at 5:47 AM to get a ride to campus with my aunt, JUST to drop off my philo paper.
I got to school at around 7:45 AM, dropped off my paper in the assignment box and left a happy camper.

I basically only spent around 20 minutes there. Haha.
But I decided to reward myself by going shopping downtown for Christmas presents and for myself.
Eaton's was a bust. So I went to Queen Street. I walked in the fucking cold for H&M and UO. AND wasted a token to go to Eaton's when I could have just gone to Queen Street in the first place.
I came out successful though. It's all good.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

C'est fini!!!!!

Eight pages about the concept of happiness according to Aristotle entitled, "L'importance des vertus morales et des vertus intellectuelles dans le bonheur aristotélicien".

:) :) :)

Realization

Yesterday I accidentally walked into a woman's baby stroller. By accident, I mean she ignored my existence and walked right into me which consequently caused one of my feet getting caught in the stroller. I'm assuming she has never learned the principle of letting people pass in front of you if needed and vice-versa. Anyway, I apologized, like I always do if I accidentally bump into another human being. She apparently didn't hear me. Instantly, she starts to cuss at me loudly for the whole store to hear what just happened. "You fucking people, say fucking sorry. Bump into somebody, say fucking sorry. Shit."
I obviously had to say something 'cause this bitch was making a huge scene for fucking nothing. She wanted an Oscar, so I said: "I did say sorry. SORRY. SORRY. SORRY."
"No you didn't fucking say sorry."
"Yes I did. You didn't hear me."
"Yo, you better stop fucking running your mouth eh? Or I will fucking do something." Along these lines. In other words, this woman was threatening me in H&M which is conveniently located nearby the mall police. I was like to myself, "Are you fucking serious right now? The police are right there and I have a store filled with people who can be witnesses. Dumbass."
She proceeds to the cashier to pay her purchases and the cashier lady is the same ethnicity as her and she's all fucking nice and shit to her. Unbelievable.

I brush it off. I pay for my purchases and before I leave, a woman, the same ethnicity as the previous one, pulls me aside and says: "I just want to congratulate you for standing up to her." And I said, "Thank you. It's not like I meant to walk into her stroller." And she says, "I know. It's just some people are ignorant. I just wanted to congratulate you. You did a good thing."

That woman made my whole day.

Let me just say this: slavery is done. It has been done for a long time. Sure racism is still an issue but does that mean that you will always live a life filled with anger and assumptions that the whole fucking world is against you? NO ONE will have pity for you because of that. Holding grudges will not be of any help either. My people also went through injustice. Anyone of different skin colour went through the same thing. What about the Jews who went through the fucking Holocaust? I'm not ignoring the fact that these unfortunate events took place. I'm saying that we should all move on. It's the past.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day 5 - My three favourite colours

In order of preference:
3. Camel (I love wearing neutrals)
2. Grey (Again, a neutral)
1. Sea foam/mint - my bedroom walls are this colour. I love how it reminds me of pistachio ice cream because it's my favourite. It's a happy colour.

Le bonheur selon Aristote (PROGRESS:)

4 pages completed. Four more to go. Half of the information is covered.
One exam demain and an 8 page philo paper due on Monday, then I'm FREE for the year.
Although it seemed that all hope was lost in the beginning of this semester, I am actually convinced that I will finish my French course with a A-/B+. THIS GIRL, IS ALL SMILES!!!!!
I CANNOT WAIT.

On another note today I went to talk to the student info people and turns out my back-up plan is impossible. It's either teaching or translation, not both. Fuck my life translation is 60-fucking-credits. I DUNNO WHAT TO DO. Seriously.

I "deliberated" (using philosophic terms here) on the different means (again, philosophic term) of getting a LIFE, basically and I decided.... to stick to translation. Screw double major... Maybe a minor in french studies but probably not. HAHAHAhahaHAHAH I'm going fucking crazy over here. Uh major in translation english/french. Bilingual Certificate of excellence and I'm good. EMPLOY ME PLEASE. Maybe an honours BA in translation. Then one of those other certificates. I DUNNO GUY, I DUNNNOOOOO.
I want to be une éditrice. Anything to do with writing, that's what I want to do. Honestly teaching was just a back-up plan. I don't know how to go about becoming une éditrice.... I could work for Radio Canada or something, right?

Monday, December 6, 2010

White carpet

It snowed last night unbeknownst to me and I woke up to a picturesque view out the window. Snow. Everywhere.

I usually complain about snow 'cause I hate slush with a passion. But I don't mind it this year much like everything else I use to dread.

silent signs

Silent signs,
I warm my cold november hands under your thighs.
Stop my shiver.
Honey that's me you hear roarin in your river
like how you hold me deep inside when currents quiver.
I'm reading your heart.
- Deyarmond Edison


Probably the best song about sex... Hands down.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Day 1 - My middle name and how I feel about it

Marie Véronique.
I have two middle names. I like Marie. But I don't really like Véronique. My full name is pretty multicultural. It transitions from Russian to French to Chinese. Haha.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I finished my French assignment. I can't freaking wait to be done with this course for the semester and move on to the continuing one. I NEED A FUCKING BREAK.

Just one test on Monday and an exam on Friday and I'm free until next year.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I'm reading your heart

It's funny how you can suddenly find yourself all alone, no one to rely on but yourself. You ask yourself, how the fuck did I get here? And most importantly, what the fuck happened? I tend to analyze things more than I should. I dissect everything until it's impossible just to figure out why and how certain events took place.

I grew up being surrounded by people I thought who cared about me and whom in return, I cared for. There were people present in the various phases of my life. They might have been different people as the years went by. But that still didn't change the fact that I had someone to turn to. The dependence and the reliability, they were guaranteed things. I didn't have to worry about those.

However, this year, I learned that yeah, life can be funny sometimes. The world you were once accustomed to can change quicker than you could ever imagine.

People will leave intentionally without a given reason. People will give up on you. As Shakespeare once said, "Things are not what they seem." Hell yeah, they're not.

I was let down. I was disappointed. And you could say, I was hopeless.
I didn't know what to do. It was the first time, in my eighteen years of living, that I was put in that situation. With time, I became more independent; self-reliable. Selfish in a good way.

I would always question why it had to happen to me in this stage of my life where such a thing is an asset. Honestly, I still don't know for sure. I'm guessing God, the powerful energies, this Universe, or whatever you want to call It, is helping me to grow stronger as a person. To explore not only the greatness of life but the downside part as well.

I was bitter about it. I can say now though, that I am not anymore. I have accepted it with open arms. So life, bring it the fuck on.

To those people that were once present at some point in my life, thank you for everything. Thank you for leaving.
To the people I have met since then, thank you for taking the time to just be there.
To the people I will meet in the near or far future, I can't wait until we do eventually meet.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

We still won

"Forget drugs, leave rock'n'roll aside. It's love that gets us through. It's time that gets us through."

Here we are eighteen, wondering where the days have gone. Forever isn't a measurement of time; it simply means memories for our kind.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

JEFFERSON STREET


She said, "Laugh all you can but you're never going to see these people again."

You were right.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

So I was thoroughly convinced that I had a NATS test tomorrow. I wrote my notes and I panicked because there was so much shit to remember. 19 pages of notes and hours later, I find out that it's next week! I rejoiced.

Let this be a lesson learned that I should study all week long.

:)

+ In an interview, Jonnie said he liked philosophy and hated cats.
We are officially even more compatible, haha.

Friday, November 26, 2010

THE MAINE x THE BURIED LIFE


My life is complete :)

December's not far

The only thing that is motivating as of late: Christmas (break).

Let's get the hell out of class. Let's get rid of assignments and tests/exams.
Instead, let's go downtown and take in the festivities and Christmas lights and decorations. Let's go see happy people.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

lately

I've had a lot of pleasant encounters with great people.

Like I said, good things do come in once you eliminate all the unnecessary shit.

On a side note: I think girls with dreads are exceptionally beautiful. I'm jealous.

DEAD ANCHOR - BLOG

I decided to make a "fashion/photo/inspiration" blog, like finally got around to it.

So if you want to check it out: DEAD ANCHOR.

I wanted to separate my personal blog from other things :)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

FACT

In this city, the only "family" I have are well, my family members. Us four against the world. Then there are family friends and one (real) family. The only people we can count on.

(Dysfunctionality at its best.)

At the end of the day, we only have each other. And it's sad that my family lives continents away. I love and miss them dearly. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am very family oriented. Whenever they come visit, saying goodbye is the hardest part.

We have to live in the same country again. In the same city.

Thank you for an unforgettable summer. Thank you for the forever memories and overall great moments. Thank you.

Note to self:

Be rational. Don't yearn after pleasures or desires. Rather, rational desires. Don't avoid your problems - don't live in denial. Learn to accept all the wrongs that have or are currently happening to you.

God, I love philosophy.

Douglas Booth


:)

Monday, November 22, 2010

All the fucking time

I meet someone. I genuinely like them as a person because they seemed congenial and pleasant. But I later find myself disappointed because they don't put the effort into the friendship.
I'm always the one who has to contact them first. I'm always the one to make plans and the list goes on and on and fucking on.

I'm tired of this shit. So I told myself that I didn't even need this SHIT in the first place and consequently, I stopped all communication with those people.

It's fucking liberating.

The process of elimination is not only fulfilling but better things come in. I promise you that. Because contrary to my strong belief that people in this city and country are selfish and ignorant, there are actually other people out there who prove this theory wrong.

But nothing can beat childhood friends. They last longer than you expect.
EDIT: 3:30pm
I moved to the window "benches". My ass hurts like a mother fucker. But on the plus side, I finished the introduction to my philo paper :)

-
Why isn't there any fucking spot to "work" in the student lounge, after 12pm?
It's ridiculous.

I'm sitting on the cold, hard floor instead, just waiting for 4 o'clock to magically and rapidly appear.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Priorities

If you're a single mother raising a toddler and working a job that is barely sustainable for the both of you, having an iPhone 4 should not be a priority in your life.
Why would you sacrifice more than half of your month's salary for a piece of technology that you could have lived without? Not only that, but a monthly plan for an iPhone is ridiculously expensive.
So you settle for a New York Fries poutine that isn't even fulfilling, when you could have bought a real meal.
What's more important?

Some things will always bottle my mind.

Penny loves Kenny traffic boot

After months of searching and saving, I finally bought a pair of combat inspired boots at Winners. They're studded and black and mineral/acid wash-esque and they're beautiful. They were $90 but worth every penny.

Friday, November 19, 2010

:)

I scored over the class average on the last test and apparently "mon devoir était excellent".
You don't understand how much this means to me. I feel slightly less stupid!!

My day was just amazing :D

Thursday, November 18, 2010

By taking trips on the public transit, you will meet the different types of people on this Earth.

For instance, today, I encountered a group of assholes. They are actually really obnoxious and ignorant. WHO KNEW?!

Be here now

Don't let your heart get heavy child,
Inside of you there's a strength that lies.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Ray Lamontagne


Is it weird that I find him crazy attractive? 'cause God damn, he is.
Maybe because he has a voice of an angel. Haha.

lesson learned

I wanted to work on my philo paper before class considering that I have an hour and a half to spare, but alas, I forgot the fucking instructions at home. WASTE OF TIME.

~
Now you act so surprised
To hear what you already know.
And all you really had to do was ask,
I'd have told you straight away.
All those lies were truth
And all that was false was fact.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Day 22 - Something that upsets me

When people are ignorant. When people are impersonal. When people give up on me without even fucking trying.
When I put effort into someone and that same effort is not reciprocated. When people need you for one specific time and forget about you when they don't need you.

letitbeME


If it's a friend that you need, let it be me.


I can live off Ray Lamontagne and Justin Vernon forevereverandevereverever.

NTS: you saw him again today, you melted, you revelled, and you should stop. Or just talk to him.

Monday, November 15, 2010

The winter months will only last for awhile

And when I die
I hope my soul doesn't go on and fly;
I hope it just stays right here.
Looking up into the sky
'Cause I know where I'm gonna die

And if I was God,
This isn't even something I could create.

~ "The Lake" by Deyarmond Edison


This is what I think about from time to time. And my mind wanders to even bizarre places.
My morning class was tolerable today. Maybe because we finished thirty minutes earlier! Ha.

I'm loving how there's classical music playing in the lounge area on the second floor...

Anyway, back to finishing this redaction pour demain.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Day 27 – My favourite place

It depends on my days but I have a few:

5. The Beach - Summer days spent walking on the sidewalks and window shopping and ice cream eating. I love it there! :)
4. Pier 1 Imports/Home Sense - Browsing beautiful house decors is one of my favourite hobbies.
3. Loblaws supermarket - the one near Scarborough Town Centre. I love grocery shopping there!
2. Chapters & Starbucks - books and delicious beverages.
1. My house - I love spending lazy weekends in my bedroom, listening to music, browsing the internet or watching movies.

Friday, November 12, 2010

INCROYABLE

We thought we were going to get the other prof come winter... FALSE INFORMATION AND FALSE HOPE.
She's pregnant. Meaning, she's probably leaving on maternity leave which would explain why we WILL NOT get her : (
You can't imagine what happened during the last hour and a half of class. We drowned in disappointment and sadness and anger.

I know it's not in my nature to say that it's a professor's fault for a student's low marks, but in this case, it is. She's strict on marking, it's ridiculous. Our class average is 60%. Can you guess MY average?!

Fuck this shit. Let it all be over.

But at least I'll have fridays off in the winter.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

it's alright, it's okay - nothing wrong with the day


Morning - JD Vernon

Ain't got nothing but good people in here with good cheer.


Today on the bus ride to class, this song came on and it was the first time I heard it.
I updated my iPod last night with Justin Vernon's older project: JD Vernon. So today, I decided to put it on shuffle. And in the beginning of this song, I thought, "This is fucking good" and then came the hip-hop/rap circa 80s feel and my jaw fucking dropped.

I wanted to burst out laughing because it caught me off guard. In a good way though. In really good way. It was the perfect moment, timing, whatever, for me to have listened to it for the first time.
Needless to say, Justin Vernon made me fucking smile. He did.
:)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

30 day challenge of 30 day challenges

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is: Single life is great.
Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years. - Married and in love and possibly having a baby on the way...
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol. - I don't dig it that much. There's just a certain amount of alcoholic beverages I can tolerate.
Day 04 - Your views on religion. -I believe in God. And different things from various religions. I wouldn't call myself a "typical
Catholic" 'cause I'm not. So I guess I'm an open-minded Catholic... if that makes sense.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life. - NEVER.
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself. - i) I can the play the piano but I haven't played in a REALLY long time. ii) Tatiana is Russian for "fairy queen" and many people question why an oriental descent girl (i.e. me) has a Russian name. My mom kind of loved it. iii) I used to dislike my name but it grew on me. iv) I listen to Justin Vernon's many projects on the regular: Bon Iver, Deyarmond Edison (!!!!!), Gayngs, his self-record... v) I love, LOVE, love Nathaniel Swokowski's singing voice. It's beautiful and sounds like I'm in heaven. vi) I like "bearded"/"scruffy" men. A lot. vii) I dig french boys trying to speak English. It's adorably sexy. viii) I am left handed. ix) I have a Holland Lop rabbit named Bunbun. I bought her in March of this year and she was already named Bunbun, so we didn't want to give her an identity crisis by changing her name. x) I believe in reincarnation. xi) But I also believe in the after life. xii) My favourite drink would definitely have to be WATER H2O baby. xiii) One Tree Hill and Life Unexpected are my favourite shows. I've been a dedicated fan since the FIRST EPISODE ever aired on WB (what the CW was called then) :D ixx) I have a 13-year-old sister. We look nothing alike. xx) I do not resemble my father or my mother. I look adopted. xxi) When it was time for me to go to school at 5 years old, I wanted to go to this French private school so bad and I begged my parents. We fought hard, back and forth, until I was guaranteed a spot. It took us 2 years but I did manage to get in! xxii) I watched the original Exorcism movie. I almost shit bricks. We watched it during the day, with the curtains wide open. Hahah. xxiii) I don't like scary/horror movies. xxiv) I loved 500 days of summer. xxv) I love The Buried Life! :) xxvi) I don't have Facebook (anymore). It's always been an on-and-off, back-and-forth debate for awhile, until I finally decided to deactivate my account in March of this year. Or maybe earlier, it's been too long to remember. xxvii) I love poutine. xxviii) I drink a lot of tea. ixxx) I don't even know if I'm using this roman numerals correctly. xxx) I like roaming in Pier 1 and Home Sense.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality. - I'm a Gemini and I think so.
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life. - When I finally became fluent in English.
Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like. - Great, amazing.
Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss. - I'll let you know, when I'll know.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day. -
*BANG* The alarm buzzed @ 5:53am.
*BANG* Got to school @ 7:25am
*BANG* Studied until 9am
*BANG* Took my psych exam at 9am
*BANG* Finished my exam at 10:40am
*BANG* Got home at 11:40am
*BANG* Ate my shredded BBQ chicken salad.
*BANG* Caught up on The Buried Life.
Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit. - I'd like to visit Europe, Australia, USA (in all its entirety, even Alaska and Hawaii) and uh basically the whole world. I would love to live in Greece or Paris or LA or NY or Montreal for a year. .
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music. - Annoying as hell, especially on 99.9 Virgin Radio. Airplanes and Dynamite and Love the you lie and oh my gosh, kept playing throughout the ENTIRE FUCKING SUMMER nonstop, 100 times a day. ANNOYING.
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year. - Highs: graduating, getting into Glendon, my grandparents' presence at my graduation, my family's visit to TO, travels to Georgian Bay. Lows: Being deceived.
Day 18 - Your beliefs. - I just told ya about my view on religion.
Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents. - I was raised not to do that.... so yeah. Hahaha.
Day 20 - How important you think education is. - If you wanna go places, then yeah.
Day 21 - One of your favorite shows. - OTH! Life unexpected! Lizzie McGuire! That's So Raven! Boy Meets World! SMART GUY!!!
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years? -Yes, definitely. I became more outgoing, less shy/timid/reserved.
Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive. - Rafi Gavron, Zach Gilford, Penn Badgley, Justin Long, The Buried Life guys (they count as one, haha)
Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about. -As of late: 500 days of summer
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why. - Philosophie prof because he's so awesome. Like honestly.
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you. - Kindhearted, funny, great smile, great hair, caring, ya knoww
Day 27 - A problem that you have had. - Asthma
Day 28 - Something that you miss. - Childhood
Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days. - Assignments and possibly more studying. Ugh.
Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month. - The highs: Weekends and Christmas decorations up everywhere. Lows: My uncle's leaving and assignments

Day 18 – My favourite birthday

would be 10th birthday.

It was bittersweet because it was not only a celebration but a departure and farewell. I received the news a couple of weeks prior to our departure that I would be leaving what I called home, Mauritius, my beautiful little island, forever. When my circle of friends and classmates were aware, we suddenly became closer. I remember my friend, Aurélie, brought this kitten we found in the schoolyard to the party and she kept it. I had a turtle cake.
I miss those types of friendships.
I miss my childhood the most and my grandparents' house.
I loved that house so much and that day and the people I was with. It was great.

Two weeks or so later, we jetted off to Europe. First stop: Paris, France.
Afterwards, we headed to different parts of France to visit some family.
Then, we went to Vienna, Austria, for a week or so.

The Social Network

The movie was so good. Amazing.

It might've been one of the greatest inventions of mankind, but it's also capable of destroying us. Human beings are not living according to their functionality anymore: to socialize (in person). Instead, they're hiding behind computer screens, stalking/creeping on friends, families, strangers.

Its ability to turn you into a curious and creepy mother fucker, is disconcerting. I'm just saying.
But apparently 500 million other people beg to differ.
And I'm not one of them.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I will admit that I was revelled to see you today even for a quick second.

You know right after seeing something/someone by surprise, there's this short moment of joy that takes place?
Yeah.

Monday, November 8, 2010

I've become accustomed to starting conversations with strangers lately and I'm proud of myself.
I grew up being socially challenged/awkward and extremely timid. When I was a child, I used to hide behind my parents or cling on to them wherever we went. I barely talked or opened my mouth. Socializing was so foreign to me.
Even asking for information from a store clerk appeared to be an impossible task. Or just talking to my extended family was difficult.

Not anymore.

Good fucking job, Tatiana.

Anyway, this week I have three tests to write. I did one today. I have one on wednesday and friday.
I'm probably going to Starbucks tomorrow and hibernate and study for the psych exam on wednesday.
Peppermint mocha, yummm.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

survey ting

Long Survey About Yourself
Created by bleedwithoutreason and taken 482871 times on Bzoink
What time are you starting this?: 605pm
Name?: Tatiana
Nicknames?: Tati
Date of birth?: May 26
Sex?: F
Height?: 5"5' - 5"6' I'm not sure
Eye color?: Brown
Where were you born?: Mauritius
Number of candles on your last birthday cake?: 18
Pets?: Holland Lop rabbit named Bunbun
Hair color?: Dark brown
Piercings?: None
Town you live in?: Scarborough
Favorite foods?: Italian, Greek
Ever been to Africa?: Mauritius is PART of the African continent so technically, I've lived in Africa. Haha.
Been toilet papering?: Huh?
Love someone so much it made you cry?: Lol not yet buddy.
Been in a car accident?: No.
Croutons or bacon bits?: Croutons
Favorite day of the week?: Fridays, Tuesdays, Thursdays.
Favorite resturant?: I don't have one. But I love Harry's.
Favorite flower?: Daisies
Favorite sport to watch?: I can tolerate soccer.
Favorite drink?: Water. Seriously. I NEED to have my water bottle with me everywhere I go.
Favorite ice cream flavor?: Pistachio.
Warner Bros. or Disney?: Disney
Favorite fast food restuarant?: Harry's, the ultimate "fast food" restaurant. It's not a franchise though.
Carpet color in your bedroom?: It's hard wood oak baby.
Whom did you get your last email from?: Emily
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?: That's a good one. Um, H&M, UO, Anthropologie, Zara, Holt Renfrew... endless possibilities.
What do you do most often when you are bored?: Watch tv
Most annoying thing to say to me?:
Bedtime?: 10pm
Favorite TV show?: One Tree Hill, Life Unexpected, Hellcats, Degrassi
Last person you went out to dinner with?:: My family
Been out of country?: Yes
Believe in magick?: No
Ford or Chevy?: None
What are you listening to right now?: Bon Iver
Have you ever failed a grade?: Nope
If you have, what grade did you fail?:
Do you have a crush on someone?: Yes
Do you have a bf/gf?: No
If so, what is their name?:
How long have you been together?:
What are you wearing right now?: Jeans, flannel shirt, moccasin slippers
Would you have sex before marriage?: Sure
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: No
Are you a virgin?:
Do you smoke?: No
Do you drink?: Sometimes
Are you ghetto?: Lol what the hell
Are you a player?: No
What are your favorite colors?: Mint/jade/sea foam/blush/ivory/creme
What is your favorite animal?: Elephants
Do you have any birthmarks?: Yes
Who do you talk to most on the phone?: I don't talk on the phone
Have you ever been slapped?: No
Do you get online a lot?: Never... Since the beginning of this year.
Are you shy or outgoing?: Both
Do you shower?: Lol yes
Do you hate school?: No
Do you have a social life?: Right now, it's growing. Considering the amount of work I have to do, I think it's best I don't have one right now. Hahha.
How easily do you trust people?: Not now.
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: Sure
Would you ever sky dive?: Yeeees
Do you like to dance?: Sure
Have you ever been out of state?: Yes.. out of province.
Do you like to travel?: Yesyesyes
Have you ever been expelled from school?: No
Have you ever been suspended from school?: No
Do you want to get out of your hometown?: No
Are you spoiled?: No
Are you a brat?: No
Have you ever been dumped?: No
Do you like snapple?: No
Do you drink a lot of water?: YES
What toothpaste do you use?: Sensodyne
Do you have a cell phone?: Yes
Do you have a curfew?: I dunno
Who do you look up to?:
Are you a role model?:
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point?: No
What name brand do you wear the most?: Um, it's all pretty much varied.
What kind of jewelry do you wear?: Silver
What do you want pierced?: Nothing
Do you like takin pictures?: Yee
Do you like gettin your picture taken?: Not really
Do you have a tan?: Yes.. it's fading. But some wouldn't call it a tan because I'm pale as hell.
Do you get annoyed easily?: No
Have you ever started a rumor?: No
Do you have your own phone or phone line?: No
Do you have your own pool?: Yes
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: Lol um panties?
Do you have any siblings?: 1
Have you ever been played?: No
Have you ever played anyone?: No
Do you get along with your parents?: Yes
How do you vent your anger?: Music
Have you ever ran away?: No
Have you ever been fired from a job?: No
Do you even have a job?: No
Do you daydream a lot?: Yes
Do you run your mouth?: No
What do you want a tattoo of?: Dove, peace sign, lyrics
What do you have a tattoo of?: Nothing yet
What does your ex bf/gf look like?:
What does your most recent crush look like?: Jonnie from The Buried Life
Whats her/his name?: I dunno
Are you rude?: No
What was the last compliment you recieved?:
What is your heritage?: Chinese descent, Mauritian
What is your lucky number?: 9
What does your hair look like right now?: Up in a ponytail
Could you ever be a vegetarian?: I think so
Describe your looks?: Glasses, pale, pink cheeks/lips, uh I dunno.. lol.
Would you ever date someone younger than you?: It depends how much younger
Would you ever date someone older than you?: Yes
When was the last time you were drunk?: Never
How many rings until you answer the phone?: Two
Have you ever been skinny dipping?: No
If yes, when was the last time?:
When was the last time you went on a date?:
Do you look more like your mother or father?: Neither
Do you cry a lot?: No
Do you ever cry to get your way?: No
What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: Allo?
Are you the romantic type?: I dunno
Have you ever been chased by cops?: No
What do you like most about your body?: My curves and my booty
What do you like least about your body?: My tummy and arms
When did you have your first crush?: Kindergarten
When was the last time you threw up?: Long time ago
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: Don't matter
Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly?: No
What about cleavage?: Lol no
Is your best friend a virgin?: What the hell?
What theme does your room have?: I dunno.. My walls are sea foam/mint green. And I have one wall with wallpaper. I have decals of buddha and "love conquers all". Home sense ? Like the store, I guess.
What size show do you wear?: You mean SHOE, 8-8 1/2.
What is your screen name on AIM?: Dun have one
How are you feeling right now?: Good
When was the last time you were at a party?: Long ago
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: No
What is one of your bad qualilties?: Starting conversation
What is one of your good qualilties?: Listening? Lol.
Would you marry for money?: Eh
What do you drive?: Nothing
Are you more of a mommys or daddys child?: Both
So?:
Well?:
When was the last time you cried in school?: Grade 10
What kind of music do you like?: Bon Iver, Butch Walker, Fairline, The Maine, The Tallest Man On Earth
Would you ever bungee jump?: Yes
What is your worst fear?: People leaving, loneliness
Would you ever join the army?: No
Do you like cows?: Lol sure
If you were to die today, what would you do?: A lot of things I know I wouldn't regret
If you had one last word to say to someone before you die, what would it b?: See you in another life.
Do you like to party?: Eh
Hearts or broken hearts?: Hearts
Moons or stars?: Stars
Coke or pepsi?: Coke
Favorite scent?: My Roxy perfume. Smells amazingggg!
Favorite band?: Bon Iver
Would you ever dye your hair red?: Yes
How many languages can you speak?: 3
What time are you finishing this?: 619pm
You've been totally Bzoink*d!
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To whomever reads this blog:

Thanks for your time.

'cause I know I'm not going crazy. I HAVE A HIT/VISITOR COUNTER.
But really, who reads this?!
Your mind is gone and you're drunk as hell.

And not necessarily intoxicated.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

time

It's time to take control of my life: me, myself, and I.

I'm ready, I'm confident, I'm sure.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Everything that happens is from now on; this is pouring rain, this is paralyzed.

Because I can't and won't allow you to ruin shit for me. Hell no. We lead different lives now and thank goodness you're no longer part of mine and I'm no longer part of yours.

Have a nice life.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

WE'LL BE ALRIGHT


ALL MIDDLE FINGERS IN THE AIR, AIR.
Definitely one of my top 3 favourite songs off Lazarus. Love you Travie and your hilarious facial expressions. You da best.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

stable and breakable

Amidst assignments and due dates and exams and tests and essay-and-presentation-that-need-to-be-started-asap-before-march, I don't seem to have the time to even think anymore. Even when I am doing nothing, like on the bus rides from and to class, all I think about is homework. My mind has prioritized all this shit that are important, at least I think they are but sometimes I don't want to think about SCHOOL WORK.

I used to think and ponder about random shit when I had the time. This feels like forever ago that I last did so. My world has been eaten up by a sea of school work and piling assignments. I miss when my mind wasn't filled up to the brim with work.

When I'm not doing shit, just to take a short break, I think of shit I have to do next. I feel like I'm wasting my time.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Let's do this. Bring it on, bitch.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

At Starbucks studying for my mini psyc quiz tomorrow. That peppermint mocha was good. Aw the barista was so nice. :)

So we took the bus together today. I have to say something next time. How do you talk to a stranger?! Haha. Help.

Yourlovewillbesafe(withme)

This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization; it's the sound of the unlocking and lift away.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Steady, set go

Go and get it but don't lose yourself in the process.
Remember, don't lose yourself (again). You can't and you won't allow it.

I want it to be rewarding. Just this one time at least, please.

+
I hate it when I think I caught sight of somebody I knew, somebody I actually wanted to see in that particular circumstance, and it turns out that my mind was just playing tricks with my eyes or vice versa. I really did want to see you and maybe talk to you about anything and everything. You were a great conversationalist and that's what I admired most about you. You were genuinely nice.

I hope you even remember me because it would be extremely embarrassing if you didn't.
Story of my life. Ha.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Dear boy-lining-up-at-the-financial-services-counter-to-pick-up-his-OSAP-documents-last-week,

You were undeniably good looking. And I couldn't help to pretend not checking you out (the feeling was mutual :D). Aha. I can let your obnoxious music past.

Pleased to have encountered you.

In the near future,

Tatiana
It's kind of nice to know that a person is still thinking of you after 8 years of separation.
In a different continent, that person still remembers who you are and actually gives an honest shit about you and how you're doing. That person e-mails you frequently just to keep in touch because they want to.
If only the majority of the people I met in the past 8 years were like that, I'd give everyone a chance.

Shit happens. Life happens.

Saturday, October 30, 2010


Congratulations Toronto! Way to go!

Rob Ford, you're such a professional and educated man. More people should be like you.

~
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING TORONTO?! How could you all be hypnotized by his unrealistic plans?! Cutting the vehicle registration tax altogether? We need those taxes so the city can actually get money to pay for other things.
Can we seriously shut the fuck up about the TTC expansion? What a dream, and an unnecessary one at that. Do we really need it? No. Because we have lived without that expansion for so long. And we can go on with our lives without it too.

There are far more important things that should be on top of your list Ford, other than expanding the freaking TTC lines.

today:

will consist in me stuffing myself with Indian food, mmm samosas mmm fish patties mmm bryani!!!!

Friday, October 29, 2010

The FRAN exam was way better than the NATS one. (How is that even possible?!)

And the people in the student lounge wouldn't shut up. I shoved my earphones in my ears and blasted some freaking Bon Iver. He is the answers to all of life's problems. Honestly. Haha.
Just so you know, I do not care, nor will I ever care, about your drunken escapades.
I don't want to hear about your drunk escapades. Shut. Up. Shit, I'm trying to study.

2210 you and I will be the best of friends. I'm going to freaking ace that midterm. Bring it on bitch.
:)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Confession:

I want a guy like Dave from The Buried Life. Everyday would be an experience. And obviously, he'd make me laugh for days and consequently, make me happy.
We could wear matching flannel shirt outfits! Haha, okay maybe not.
: )

Confession:

I sit in the Student Lounge hoping that someone, anyone, guy or girl (most preferably one of the opposite sex) will talk to me, strike a conversation. Not the just-for-sake-of-talking conversation, but long meaningful, i-want-to-get-to-know-you-honestly conversations. I wouldn't mind knowing your whole life story. I really wouldn't.
So far, that plan has not come to life yet. But I have hope and I know, that it will soon manifest itself.

Pleased to meet you.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

daydreams

I'm looking at you, you're lookin at me.
Seconds seem days.
You wear a smile, so delicately
all in your gaze.
What you do to me, I just can't explain.
Words cannot say.
I'm looking at you, you're lookin at me
then you look away from me.

~~
Studying, taking notes for my 2210 midterm this friday.
Bon Iver's daytrotter session playing in the background. Justin Vernon, you're amazing.
Autumn has painted the sidewalks with dead, brittle leaves. Trees are constantly shaking off their branches. The air could not be any more refreshing. And the campus is ridiculously beautiful. Looking out the window of a classroom and all you see are rich reds, saturated oranges, deep browns.
I'm beginning to appreciate Fall.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

results

Ford.

Why am I not surprised but yes for the 80 000+ Pantalone voters!!!
And he took the news like a freaking champ unlike Smitherman.
The elections "were mine to win". Um, no.

Only when you're defeated you decide to act somewhat civil towards your opponent.
Professionalism at its best.

takeitlikeaman

I'd let you in like a bullet to my brain.

I would.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Excerpt II - a work in progress

For once Dave, be a man. Take a God damn chance. When you see her, pour your whole soul to her. Don't be afraid. Don't be a coward. Don't let yourself stop doing what you want to do. Just for once, don't think about the consequences. Be in the present, think of the now. Just say what you want to say. Let it all out.
Let her in like a wave of shock to your brain. LET HER IN.
So what you're exposed? Exposed to brutality. So what? At least it's real. At least you know what it feels like to be in love, to have loved even if it wasn't reciprocated. Be vulnerable.
Since you've transformed into this selfish monster, all you did was block out love. You ignored it. You didn't bother to give it a try. To you, it was impossible.

But now that you know what a broken heart feels like, can't you just give yourself a second chance? I mean, I think you deserve it. The amounts of pain you caused to these girls are nothing compared to what you have been feeling these past three months.
What you felt was much more powerful, more rigorous. You haven't been coherent since then. Your world suddenly stopped.

So you know what I think? I think we should tell her how we feel. We should apologize and be as earnest as we can. That's what she needs. She needs us to be real, upfront, and brutally honest.

She's right there. She saw you. Go talk to her. Now. Go, Dave. Go.
1. This "hazelnut and vanilla" coffee tastes awful. Never buying that, ever again. Goodbye $1.49 : (
2. I fucking missed a whole page on my linguistics test and lost a shitload of marks. SHITSHITSHIT. How did I miss it? Beats me...
I will get an excellent mark next time. I have to. And I will.
3. NATS test today was brutal. WHAT THE HELL WAS THE WOMAN TALKING ABOUT?!?! She can't teach. She can't express herself in french. Let me teach the freaking class. Honestly...
4. Student lounge, you and I should frequent more often, just sayeeen ; ) Hahha.

Only Human

I'll try to relate if you will talk to me.
I'll try to be great, like it we're meant to be.
You think that maybe we could sit for a while.
Come out and say the things that you like to do.
And I'll do my best to try to relate to you.
I hope that maybe we could sit for a while.


~
Scruff, beanie, red plaid flannel shirt, vest, black fitted jeans, and sneakers.

:)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

sunday night

Studying for my NATS test tomorrow and Ray Lamontagne in the background.

This weekend flew by so fast. I can't wait for the next one! Haha.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

in short

i. I love having intensely long conversations with people I just met. It feels like we've known each for ages when in reality we literally were strangers minutes ago. No long awkward pauses or one word responses.
ii. I blew the remaining $15.81 on my ESPRIT gift card. Goodbye $500 : ( You gave me two sweaters and two bags. A sweater for my maman and a t-shirt for my popo. That's pretty good, I suppose. I had no idea that ESPRIT was that ridiculously expensive.
iii. So I waited three fucking hours on Thursday for an INFORMATION SESSION. Not a fucking workshop. On the flyers, it was written WORKSHOP. The workshops are in January. WHAT. THE. HELL.
iv. 2210 is gonna be the death of me. Our prof told us to aim for a C+. Are we all really failing that badly? As long as we're on the same boat...
v, NATS test on Monday. Definitely going to ace that one!!!
vi. Tatted boy in combat boots and white t-shirt, um, helloooo.
vii. I want combat/military inspired boots. Speaking of boots, I wore my UGGS three times already. I always always always thought that they were ugly. But mine aren't that bad... they're sort of aztec-y. I think I'm going to add beading and feathers. Hahaha. They were a gift and they were expensive and bought in Australia. :) Ergo, I should be thankful and just wear them. Haha. At least they're warm.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just waiting for that workshop to start in t-minus 2 hours 51 mins.

I've been waiting since 12pm.

This is boring as hell. I've been people watching and pretending to do shit on my laptop.

Fridge Festival better be interesting or else I've been waiting for no legitimate reason. And that, would suck.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

8/8

Philosophie class was hilarious and insightful today. Mr Moyel is the best!!! He almost went ape shit today!!! Hahaha. We were talking about how birth is accidental, as in being born in a royal, rich, poor, middle class, or whatever class family. And then one of the students proceeded with the following argument: Birth is not accidental. All births are planned. And then of course, another student retorted with: Are you sure ALL births are planned? What about teenage pregnancy. Other student: Yeah, they are.
It was ridiculous. It had no relevance to what we were talking about. Haha he couldn't take it, he had to bow his head in shame on their behalf.

But anyway, if you couldn't tell by my overusage of exclamation marks, I am so happy because I reached the 8 page mark for my paper!!! At least it REACHED the eighth page... I'll probably add more tomorrow when I re-re-re-revise it once more.
So, I believe that the Lords of Swift and Amazing Paper writing have answered my prayers and granted me with the powers of swift 8 page paper writing :)

FOR REAL THOUGH, because yesterday I had six pages done and I was DONE. I had nothing else to say or add or elaborate or repeat. If you read my paper, first, I don't think you'd want to even finish reading it, that's not the point, you'd be like, "Is this chick intelligent? She's just repeating herself, over, and over, and over again in various ways." Why? Because almost every sentence needs justification and excellent reasoning.

Why did I take this course again? Oh yeah, I love philosophy.

Monday, October 18, 2010

CRAMPS

It hurts like hell. All the way to my knees.
How am I supposed to write the remaining four pages of my paper in this condition?! The pain is overpowering.
The Lords of Swift and Amazing Paper Writing, please have mercy and help me.

: (

Sunday, October 17, 2010

4/8

In the span of two days, I have written four freaking pages of my 8 page philosophy paper. Four more to go!!!!

HARDCORE UNIVERSITY STUDENT RIGHT HERE.
I'm putting Socrates in his place, that's right mother fucker!!! Haha my arguments are just brilliant. I don't know what's taken over me. The philosopher in me is swimming to the surface. I am impressed... by myself. How is that possible?! I've never been so motivated in my life. I feel so cultivated. My mind is thanking me right now : ) Except two weeks ago, my mind was in fucking rage over how to attack this paper. But we did it mind, it took us two weeks, but we did it! High five!

MONSIEUR MOYEL, YOU BETTER GIVE ME AN AMAZING MARK ON THIS. MERCI D'AVANCE MONSIEUR, VOUS ETES TROP GENTIL! Haha.

Friday, October 15, 2010

So my sister or someone, but most likely my sister, forgot to close my rabbit's hutch yesterday.
And just now, we saw her hopping in our backyard loose. Just taking a nice stroll on a sunny day. Thank God she's not hyperactive, 'cause we caught her and thank God it's a closed area. Silly Bunbun.
Hahah. I don't blame her though, we had rain for three consecutive days.

Who needs a dog when you have a bunny? They're just great :)

On another note:
Finished my 2210 assignment!!!!!!
BUT REALLY EFF COMPLICATED FR WORDS THAT COULD'VE BEEN SIMPLIFIED FOR THE SAKE OF PEOPLE WHO AREN'T GENIUSES, AND EFF EFF EFFFFF SUMMARIZING SHIT. I'M GOING TO OFFICIALLY HATE DOING THAT ONCE I'M DONE THIS COURSE.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Bill O'Reilly

Shut the fuck up.
"Because muslims killed people on 9/11!"
IGNORANT SON OF A BITCH.
Are we even sure that "muslims" did this? You don't have real fucking proof.
There is a huge distinction between an extremist and a religion. So don't be a freaking dumbass and generalize shit.
And your "apology" was obviously not genuine. You just wanted to cover your tracks 'cause the whole freaking nation just witnessed how ignorant you are.
And oh my gosh, blondie SHUT. UP.

By the way, a mosque can be built wherever. Everyone is entitled to their own religion. I bet if it was a church being built, you wouldn't have a problem with that now, would you O'Reilly? (AND IT'S NOT EVEN A MOSQUE THAT'S BEING BUILT, IT'S A FREAKING COMMUNITY CENTRE)
And yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but in your case, it's ignorant and disrespectful.
What if I said white people caused the freaking Holocaust? And then proceeded with a conclusion that all white people were Nazis? THEN WHAT.

Oh and okay, maybe you did say the "Japanese" bombed the U.S. But when you were saying "Japanese" you knew you were referring to the Japanese military. BUT when you're saying that the "muslims attacked us on 9/11" you're indicating Islam, the religion and all its practitioners. It's a whole different situation there, Billy boy.

But hey, I guess maybe you have a racist bone in your body or you're already thoroughly convinced brainwashed by Bush's government.

ROSSI DROPS OUT?!

Are you freaking kidding me?! What the hell.
I don't understand. Why are the two worst candidates in the lead?! Really, Smitherman and Ford? REALLY TORONTO?!?!?!?

Why have our elections consecutively been a joke? I.e. The last time we had elections for Prime Minister, that was fucking useless. Dion and Harper. THE WORST CANDIDATES.

Elections cannot be taken seriously if the people running aren't professional.

The neutral man would be Pantalone. Just because I will not be voting for either of the two leading men, I'll have to stay neutral.