dash

How many ways can you think about Jesus
Up in the sky, as vague as your thesis
Unknown, how do I know you?
How do I know you?

All of us ache, for answers to questions
We're up on the hillside, waiting, awaking
Oh Gabriel, when will you speak to me?
When will you speak to me?

We think it's all held together by services and sacrament
And faith is like permanence, clay bowls and firmament
Oh honey, I am the honest one
I am the honest one.
~ Deyarmond Edison.

If I had to describe my faith in a song, this would be the perfect one. I wouldn't be able to say it any other way, Justin. You are the epitome of amazing.

summer in short

1. J's visit and shopping :)
2. Pool dipping and swimming all day e'rdayyy. Like literally, that one week in July when it was hot as hell, we were in the pool every single day. Like twice a day. Yay for chlorine skin.
3. The heavens have granted me my wish: I tanned. You thought this pale white skin China doll wouldn't ever achieve a sunkiss tan in her life on Earth. But she did! Tan lines, baby. Sunkiss skin. Yee'
4. Downtown hopping.
5. BBQ. Chowed down some nice grilled meat. EAT ME VEGANS!
6. Niagara Falls.
7. Collingwood, The Blue Mountains. Change of scenery. I loved being surrounded by mountains, great views, blue skies, and overall nice people and a plethora of hot guys.
8. Ate delicious homemade desserts and cakes. So freaking amazing and didn't gain weight :)
9. Centre Island
10. Ottawa/Montréal/Mont Ste. Anne
11. Waffle house eating.
12. Dyed my hair darker. Back to my original roots, baby.

Best summer so far. Just being surrounded by my family was great.

first impression

And there's a train in my heart that doesn't seem to start unless you're lying next to me

i. Missed you by a second;
ii. I officially dislike Mondays. Six hours of sitting down and listening to a professor talk is unbearable. I miss Ward (sometimes). I miss walking the halls when I felt like I needed to stretch. I miss not having a teacher talk for hours. I miss quiet work time in the French senior room : ( Crycrycry. PAUSES ARE NOT HELPFUL. So much shit to digest... it ain't even funny;
iii. Came home to something that made my Monday better. : )
iv. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you can't tell by the usage of multiple exclamation marks, I AM IN FUCKING DISBELIEF AND MORE THAN THRILLED RIGHT THIS MOMENT.

He don't got your number and he knows your name.

lights outside

Why must you always include God in situations that are irrelevant? Evil and negativity do not equal God.
I appreciate your sympathy but don't fucking tell me it was "God's plan".
Shit happens, believe it or not.
So you fell and nearly died but you survived, it was "God's plan".
So someone gets into a serious car accident and survived, it was "God's plan".
Someone is attacked and robbed and still survived, it was "God's plan".
Shut the fuck up.
This is exactly why I'm an existentialist.

Your level of idiocy baffles me sometimes.

day 21 - another moment

Eye-to-eye conversations. If that makes sense... It's self-explanatory.
: )

T.o

T.O. in the beautiful blue sky summer.
This view was amazing.

she's got your love

Coffee, sweaters and The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
I love the Olsens and always will.

And I am nobody's heroine

Just sitting in the student lounge waiting for class to start at 9. I've been here since 7:30. Eager beaver over here.

Baby ain't got your number. Baby ain't got your love. Woo!
Deyarmond Edison I dig it. Haha

you look like sunshine in the rain

i. Rain and Justin Vernon are made for each other.
ii. My philosophie prof is the best.
iii. Jeans and flannel and oxfords and in love with this combination for Fall.
iv. One Tree Hill and Life Unexpected are back. My life is complete (again). BUG I WOULD MARRY YOU IN A HEARTBEAT. I've been a viewer/watcher since the very first episode has ever aired, for both shows. Just saying... that's dedication right there. Jamie is so cute. Chester and my rabbit should be friends.
v. Where my gift card at????? I WANT IT. NOW.
vi. Tu ne me déranges pas du tout.
vii. The white blinds in my room are looking great.
viii. My freaking Psychologie textbook not only weighs like a brick but costs so fucking much. WTF. Ridicule.
ix. Homework this weekend will consist of reading and taking notes and reading and notes and...

Sitting at my desk, in my room, trying to finish this reading of Ménon.
Socrate, you really knew how to fuck up a mother fucker.

I like your know-it-all-but-not-entirely-snobby attitude.
Your confidence was intimidating and therefore people hated your guts.
Oh and also because you had the ability to turn a person who thought they were somewhat smart into a complete dumbass.
I like you.

Hahah.

I wish I had a day off this semester : (
Well, at least it'll be beneficial in the winter months to have Fridays off.

le premier jour

Sitting in a class for three hours has been completely unfamiliar to me since the ninth grade.
This is when I miss Ward the most... Hahaha.

I was ready to pass out in my last class of the day. IT WAS ONLY TWO O'CLOCK.

today:

v) Waffle house eating.
iv) Hair dyed blueberry black. Missed you dark hair!
iii) Updated iPod playlist. Much needed and overdue, seriously.
ii) Sun's shining, the weather is satisfying.
i) Lazarus on repeat, followed by Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are". I am obsessed with that song.

silent signs

I am flooded and unfilled.
And everyday it's harder still.

Justin Vernon, you are amazing beyond words.

fix me

Dr. Feel Good - Travie McCoy

Is there somethin’ you can prescribe Dr. Feel Good?
I mean he’s so happy, she’s so free Doctor, what in the world is wrong with me?


LAZARUS, go get itttt!

JustthewAyyouare

I would rather hear a Travie McCoy and Bon Iver collaboration than a Kanye West one. But maybe the rest of it will make me change my mind.

You're my backbone

Great, genuinely-interested-in-you conversations that have continuous flow. Mutual interest in what the other has to say. A great conversationalist is all I ask for.
:)

le monde nous appartient

i. Academic orientation is tomorrow. I am actually excited considering that high school is over, forever. I spent the "first day" of school doing essentially nothing. Ha. It felt great not having to wake up early and to wear the uniform and to walk those halls. This year, all of my courses are 100% in French. If you can't tell behind the computer screen, this girl is honestly freaking EXCITEDDD! I missed having a full French curriculum, like you dunnooo.
ii. After watching Julie & Julia, I've had this sudden urge to start cooking. Hmm, le beurre... (:
iii. Guess who won a gift card from Esprit? GUESS HOW MUCH THAT PERSON WON? 500 DOLLARS BITCHESSSSS! Can't wait to start wasting that free money. I've been wanting to buy more clothes for university. Thanks infinitely Vervegirl! After this weekend, everything seemed hopeless. (Not anymore!)
iv. ASH STYMEST & MUNRO CHAMBERS & JOHN O would make the best man ever not just physically but personality-wise as well, just sayin' :)
v. Traumatized but taking it one day at a time.
vi. Alright, I'm going to fix myself a cup of tea with a side of biscuits.

hell YESSSSSSSSSSSS

My day just got better :)

A message to a certain mother fucker

Maybe we weren't there to "welcome" you,
but here are a few kind words straight from the bottom of our hearts:
FUCK. YOU.

This is what I wish upon you:
I hope you get hit by a bus and die, like Regina George in Mean Girls;
I hope you choke on your own food and die;
I hope you injure yourself while running away from your own disgraceful faulty acts, by first, breaking your ankle, then falling flat on your ugly face, followed by a bloody nose and be blinded by a plethora of nails which happened to be conveniently laying there where you fell;
I hope you get caught by someone else and die;
I hope they catch your sorry skinny filthy disgusting ass;
I hope you rot and die in prison;
I hope you eat your own shit and die of diarrhea;
I hope you rot, burn and die in hell;
Better yet, I hope you die alone.
Sonuvvabitch.

Karma will bite you hard in your ass until you bleed and die, you fucking creepy psychopathic deranged motherfucker. Like shit, we didn't invite you with a golden ticket. This was not Charlie's chocolate factory, dumb ass. I DUN GIVE A SHIT IF THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY. Everyone knows there are boundaries. What is mine, IS NOT YOURS. AND WILL NEVER BE. UNLESS A COCONUT HITS ME ON THE HEAD AND CAUSES ME TO OFFER YOUR GOODIES OF YOUR CHOICE. BUT THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, ASSHOLE. BY THE REAL WORLD, I MEAN THE FORTUNATE COUNTRY YOU LIVE IN. YOU CAN WORK AT MCDONALD'S WITHOUT A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA ON A MINIMUM WAGE SALARY AND STILL BE ABLE TO LIVE ON YOUR OWN. SO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. EVERYONE HAS TO START SOMEWHERE. UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, THAT'S SCRUBBING DIRTY FLOORS AND CLEANING SHIT-FILLED TOILETS. But wait, that's where your sorry ass belongs. SO, fuck your mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, grandfather, grandmother, ancestors, because of them, you have been brought into this world.

The human race is capable of many things; to be extremely good or extremely bad. In this case, this motherfucker was messed up.

I have never, EVER, in this particular lifetime hated and despised with my every being ANOTHER human being who is a complete stranger (meaning, we have never met nor spoken) to me. I SHIT YOU NOT.

Because I am decent, good human being, I will leave this note/rant with this:
Have a great day filled with unfortunate events,
: )

WE'LL BE ALRIGHT

Long hours in a mini van, my ass wouldn't stop hurting after the three hour mark. One can sit on one's derrière for so long!
Day 1/ T.O - Ottawa: 4 hours
Day 2/ Ottawa - MTL: 2 hours
Day 3/ MTL - Mont-Sainte-Anne de Beaupré: 3 hours
Mont-Sainte-Anne de Beaupré - Ottawa: 5 fucking hours.
We got the shittiest weather ever too. F you rain, F you wind, F YOU COLD.

THE BEST PART:
Me being tired as hell, passing out on the living room floor a la japanese. A mat and a pillow, who needs comfort?! NOT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.
The things I DO for people.
But I loved Montréal so freaking much. It's good to be surrounded by the french language again. Everything written in French. It feels damn good and just right in general. On se verra a la prochaine, Montréal. <3
I can't wait for school to start. Like please, hurryy.

stopover

Je t'aime, Montréal.
I swear I will live here someday.

(Road) trippin'

Ottawa-Montreal-Mont Ste. Anne
Great way to end my summer. (:

I've been catching up on Modern Family.
Gloria is freaking hilarious in the Oscars ep with the charades.
Hahaha,
"THE FINGER! THE ONE FINGER! THE SKY!"
And of course Cam/Mitchell, "Casablanca."