Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I just finished my intro paragraph for my research paper on L'alimentation japonaise.

And it's not due until the end of march. Yeah that's right, my procrastination days are over.

:)

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas! Joyeux Noël!

:)

Friday, December 24, 2010

T'was Christmas Eve

It strangely doesn't feel like Christmas Eve at all. No big family dinner, nothing.
We're probably going to watch a Christmas movie later, most likely Jingle All The Way. Haha. I love Sinbad in that movie!!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I can't sleep. (I don't wan't to sleep.) My mind is wandering to far away places. I wish they were good places where only positivity resides and the end result? Happiness.

For the past couple of months, I convinced myself that people come and go. In the end, all I have is myself. But fuck that loneliness crap. Feeling lonely is by far, the worst feeling ever. I felt it. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone - not even someone unpleasant and despiteful. No human being deserves it. Loneliness eats your heart away and slowly disintegrates your mind, body and soul. It makes you feel inhuman. You suddenly feel out of touch with the world and with yourself.

With the New Year in the horizon, I hope for acquaintances with good people, relationships/friendships with these acquaintances, love, peace (within myself) and all the good things life has to offer.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The TTC can be a real bitch sometimes.
The fucking 54 Lawrence Ave E bus took for-fucking-ever to come. AND WHEN IT DID, the bus was full. WHAT THE SHIT RIGHT?!
I waited half an hour or even more to get on that bus. Fucking people who came after me got on first. YOU KNOW WHY? I was carrying my dad's ginormous gift. He better be thankful for it when he opens it for Christmas 'cause I went through hell just to buy it.

Out of all days I decide to go out this week...
FUCK YOU TTC.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Life is great

Days without classes are amazing. Instead, my day consists of: shovelling snow if need be, listening to my collection of Ray LaMontagne albums on repeat, catching up on Modern Family, watching the Steven and Chris show, making my bed (finding the time to make it), wearing my hair up in a bun, and staying warm inside.

:)

Monday, December 13, 2010

I woke up at 5:47 AM to get a ride to campus with my aunt, JUST to drop off my philo paper.
I got to school at around 7:45 AM, dropped off my paper in the assignment box and left a happy camper.

I basically only spent around 20 minutes there. Haha.
But I decided to reward myself by going shopping downtown for Christmas presents and for myself.
Eaton's was a bust. So I went to Queen Street. I walked in the fucking cold for H&M and UO. AND wasted a token to go to Eaton's when I could have just gone to Queen Street in the first place.
I came out successful though. It's all good.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

C'est fini!!!!!

Eight pages about the concept of happiness according to Aristotle entitled, "L'importance des vertus morales et des vertus intellectuelles dans le bonheur aristotélicien".

:) :) :)

Realization

Yesterday I accidentally walked into a woman's baby stroller. By accident, I mean she ignored my existence and walked right into me which consequently caused one of my feet getting caught in the stroller. I'm assuming she has never learned the principle of letting people pass in front of you if needed and vice-versa. Anyway, I apologized, like I always do if I accidentally bump into another human being. She apparently didn't hear me. Instantly, she starts to cuss at me loudly for the whole store to hear what just happened. "You fucking people, say fucking sorry. Bump into somebody, say fucking sorry. Shit."
I obviously had to say something 'cause this bitch was making a huge scene for fucking nothing. She wanted an Oscar, so I said: "I did say sorry. SORRY. SORRY. SORRY."
"No you didn't fucking say sorry."
"Yes I did. You didn't hear me."
"Yo, you better stop fucking running your mouth eh? Or I will fucking do something." Along these lines. In other words, this woman was threatening me in H&M which is conveniently located nearby the mall police. I was like to myself, "Are you fucking serious right now? The police are right there and I have a store filled with people who can be witnesses. Dumbass."
She proceeds to the cashier to pay her purchases and the cashier lady is the same ethnicity as her and she's all fucking nice and shit to her. Unbelievable.

I brush it off. I pay for my purchases and before I leave, a woman, the same ethnicity as the previous one, pulls me aside and says: "I just want to congratulate you for standing up to her." And I said, "Thank you. It's not like I meant to walk into her stroller." And she says, "I know. It's just some people are ignorant. I just wanted to congratulate you. You did a good thing."

That woman made my whole day.

Let me just say this: slavery is done. It has been done for a long time. Sure racism is still an issue but does that mean that you will always live a life filled with anger and assumptions that the whole fucking world is against you? NO ONE will have pity for you because of that. Holding grudges will not be of any help either. My people also went through injustice. Anyone of different skin colour went through the same thing. What about the Jews who went through the fucking Holocaust? I'm not ignoring the fact that these unfortunate events took place. I'm saying that we should all move on. It's the past.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day 5 - My three favourite colours

In order of preference:
3. Camel (I love wearing neutrals)
2. Grey (Again, a neutral)
1. Sea foam/mint - my bedroom walls are this colour. I love how it reminds me of pistachio ice cream because it's my favourite. It's a happy colour.

Le bonheur selon Aristote (PROGRESS:)

4 pages completed. Four more to go. Half of the information is covered.
One exam demain and an 8 page philo paper due on Monday, then I'm FREE for the year.
Although it seemed that all hope was lost in the beginning of this semester, I am actually convinced that I will finish my French course with a A-/B+. THIS GIRL, IS ALL SMILES!!!!!
I CANNOT WAIT.

On another note today I went to talk to the student info people and turns out my back-up plan is impossible. It's either teaching or translation, not both. Fuck my life translation is 60-fucking-credits. I DUNNO WHAT TO DO. Seriously.

I "deliberated" (using philosophic terms here) on the different means (again, philosophic term) of getting a LIFE, basically and I decided.... to stick to translation. Screw double major... Maybe a minor in french studies but probably not. HAHAHAhahaHAHAH I'm going fucking crazy over here. Uh major in translation english/french. Bilingual Certificate of excellence and I'm good. EMPLOY ME PLEASE. Maybe an honours BA in translation. Then one of those other certificates. I DUNNO GUY, I DUNNNOOOOO.
I want to be une éditrice. Anything to do with writing, that's what I want to do. Honestly teaching was just a back-up plan. I don't know how to go about becoming une éditrice.... I could work for Radio Canada or something, right?

Monday, December 6, 2010

White carpet

It snowed last night unbeknownst to me and I woke up to a picturesque view out the window. Snow. Everywhere.

I usually complain about snow 'cause I hate slush with a passion. But I don't mind it this year much like everything else I use to dread.

silent signs

Silent signs,
I warm my cold november hands under your thighs.
Stop my shiver.
Honey that's me you hear roarin in your river
like how you hold me deep inside when currents quiver.
I'm reading your heart.
- Deyarmond Edison


Probably the best song about sex... Hands down.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Day 1 - My middle name and how I feel about it

Marie Véronique.
I have two middle names. I like Marie. But I don't really like Véronique. My full name is pretty multicultural. It transitions from Russian to French to Chinese. Haha.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I finished my French assignment. I can't freaking wait to be done with this course for the semester and move on to the continuing one. I NEED A FUCKING BREAK.

Just one test on Monday and an exam on Friday and I'm free until next year.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I'm reading your heart

It's funny how you can suddenly find yourself all alone, no one to rely on but yourself. You ask yourself, how the fuck did I get here? And most importantly, what the fuck happened? I tend to analyze things more than I should. I dissect everything until it's impossible just to figure out why and how certain events took place.

I grew up being surrounded by people I thought who cared about me and whom in return, I cared for. There were people present in the various phases of my life. They might have been different people as the years went by. But that still didn't change the fact that I had someone to turn to. The dependence and the reliability, they were guaranteed things. I didn't have to worry about those.

However, this year, I learned that yeah, life can be funny sometimes. The world you were once accustomed to can change quicker than you could ever imagine.

People will leave intentionally without a given reason. People will give up on you. As Shakespeare once said, "Things are not what they seem." Hell yeah, they're not.

I was let down. I was disappointed. And you could say, I was hopeless.
I didn't know what to do. It was the first time, in my eighteen years of living, that I was put in that situation. With time, I became more independent; self-reliable. Selfish in a good way.

I would always question why it had to happen to me in this stage of my life where such a thing is an asset. Honestly, I still don't know for sure. I'm guessing God, the powerful energies, this Universe, or whatever you want to call It, is helping me to grow stronger as a person. To explore not only the greatness of life but the downside part as well.

I was bitter about it. I can say now though, that I am not anymore. I have accepted it with open arms. So life, bring it the fuck on.

To those people that were once present at some point in my life, thank you for everything. Thank you for leaving.
To the people I have met since then, thank you for taking the time to just be there.
To the people I will meet in the near or far future, I can't wait until we do eventually meet.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

We still won

"Forget drugs, leave rock'n'roll aside. It's love that gets us through. It's time that gets us through."

Here we are eighteen, wondering where the days have gone. Forever isn't a measurement of time; it simply means memories for our kind.